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It begins!

Alright, I’ve definitely seen this image before.  I think let’s start with the picture itself, then move on to the text, shall we?

So we’ve got our little armless kid wearing a Slimer(?) shirt (also armless).  The poster says SBURB beta which makes me assume it’s a game, maybe like Sim City?  I see a birthday cake on the dresser, which is a strange place for a birthday cake but ok, and a poster tube or something next to it?  Maybe a birthday present?

The text confirms that it’s his birthday and he’s a very short 13 years old.  Do I really get to enter his name?  This may be more interactive than I anticipated.

Jebaited.

I like that the Slimer shirt’s expression changes too 

The kid waited 13 years to be named John Egbert.  Ok.

This makes me wonder how fourth wally this comic is going to be.  Like so far, the audience is clearly a part of the story.  Will it stay like this?  Am I part of the story as observer or is this just part of the intro to sort of draw me in?  

Oh, we’ve got a lot to look at here.  I see a Ghostbusters poster on the wall, which sort of confirms the Slimer shirt.  And… Con Air and…?  I don’t know what the other two are.  I honestly don’t watch many movies that aren’t animated. Wait, that’s Ghostbusters II.  Hmm.

The bedspread also has ghosties on it.  

There’s another sort of lopsided cake on top of the magic chest.   No candles though.  

Hammer and nails on the floor.  Flyer that says… Game Bro?  Two dates are marked on the calendar.  I assume one of them is today.  Is the other earlier or later?  I zoomed in but I can’t tell for sure.  It did show me that the one poster is for Mac & Me (which I’ve never heard of) and the other seems to be Deep Impact.  I feel like none of those are considered very good movies.

OH.  Now the text is referring to John as me.  So it’s like a game and he’s my player character? Maybe?  And ok, apparently the movies are not ‘not very good’ but ‘really terrible’.  Good to know. 

…oh.

Perhaps I ought to be including the ‘next’ button in my pics, lol!  

Is he going to pull out some weapons?

Wait… I was just about to hit post when I noticed that it says John. So maybe I will take on the role of other player characters as I read this?

Ha, it really is a magic chest!  This amuses me.

…It just occurred to me to wonder if there’s any additional text when you hover over or if there are clickable bits on the page or something.  It doesn’t look like it on this page at least but if that’s a thing I should be looking out for, will someone please tell me?  (Don’t tell me exactly where or anything, just give me a heads up to look)

Ok, so now I’m not John anymore, I’m the Player again.  I feel like it would be nice if there was some way to differentiate “Game Text” (like the bit where it tells me my name is John and whatnot) from “Narration Text” (like this bit, where it says what I’m doing but isn’t actually part of the game).  If that makes any sense?  Regardless, I’m finding the format quite intriguing and I’m wondering how it will play into the story.

Also, it looks like the first date marked on the calendar is ‘BETA’ which I’m guessing is when the SBURB beta comes out?  And then the birthday is a couple days later, as that appears to be a little face with a pointy birthday hat.

Why does the cake have holes for candles but no candles?  Were the candles put on and removed?  Then why wasn’t the cake cut into?    

Oh, the Game Bro flyer has the logo for SBURB on it.  Is Game Bro a system like a Game Boy?  

Who is that a picture of in the magic chest?  I don’t recognize him at all.  Please feel free to tell me if it’s not spoilery.  

….Dammit.

I was staring at this for like five minutes, making my observations, before I realized that he popped out damned arms to pick up the damned arms.  I’m so mad, hahaha!!

Ok, so the arm thing is like the hands in the pockets from Real Life Comics (does anyone else remember that comic?  I used to follow it, and a number of others, religiously.  Now the only ones I follow are Questionable Content and Oglaf.  Don’t look up Oglaf if you’re underage.  Only I don’t really care cause I’m not your mom.)  

Ok, so it sounds like the Captchalogue and Sylladex are some sort of inventory for the game. This will either be REALLY important or is just a throwaway thing to make it sound more game-like.  I have no idea which, though.  Good words, though.